End of Life Doula Practice

As an End of Life doula….

I am a trusted and skilled guide during a complex, often heartbreaking time: the last months and days of life. Unimaginable challenges arise as the reality of a life ending unfolds. A confusing range of emotions and situations become the new norm.

Perhaps you are newly diagnosed reeling with difficult thoughts and decisions, compounded by a keen knowing that you have limited time.

It may be you and/or your doctors have accepted that your life is ending, or that treatments offered do not hold the promise hoped for.

Perhaps, you are a family member of a well-loved parent who is in the cruel cognitive and physical instability of elderly decline.

These are only a few examples where, with recognition, kindness and a deep appreciation for the experience at hand, my role as Doula allows for the shepherding through all that is taking place. Together, we prepare for what is going to happen while honoring a life that is ending.

Please listen to this podcast interview ( with Kimberly Paul of Death by Design) where you will gain a deep understanding of my doula work:

https://shows.acast.com/death-by-design/episodes/mariah-riess-msw

The Role of A Doula and The Kind of Care We Provide: Three Phases

While each life and path is unique, generally, there are three different phases of doula work. Each phase has its own unique, deeply spiritual focus that reflects what is happening with the dying person and their family and loved ones.

Phase One

Legacy work provides meaningful opportunities to express and communicate in a way that leaves loved ones, and the person whose life is ending, a sense of completion. With skill and care, difficult and avoided topics may be lovingly approached. One example might be: planning around the wishes of the dying: a chance to envision what their “good death” would entail. There are varied approaches and forms that establish Legacy. The work is truly an artistic creation and provides relief, expressions of deep love, even in the face of unspeakable sorrow and other very real and difficult feelings.

Phase Two

In this phase, the focus is on “holding space” for the dying so as to have a peaceful death. Together, coordinating with the patient’s care team, emotional, spiritual and physical support is provided. Often a family and the loved ones witnessing the final process of dying are reassured by a Doula’s ability to interpret what is happening, as well as a Doula’s simple presence.

Phase Three

The third phase of my Doula work helps a family and loved ones after a death. We have shared a sacred experience. Together, we review all that has taken place. Reprocessing can be a short or more extended process. “Grief is a matter of the heart. We cannot escape its pull.” I am a committed partner for those who entrust me to be their companion in bereavement, for as long as needed.

My thoughts: throughout our lives, WE will all experience the death of those whom we have loved. The body does not respect our well-laid plans! Yet, we are surprised. As life unfolds, this emotion of loss will not remain alien. Embrace each story and each memory, no matter the history, no matter the internal protest. Refrain from forgetting. For by “interweaving their names and memories into our finite lives,”* therein lies the love supporting us through each inevitable loss.

* The Good Death by Ann Neumann

Mariah’sPodcast interview with Death by Design: https://shows.acast.com/death-by-design/episodes/mariah-riess-msw